March 3: C’est Scents. The head chef, Louis von Gaf, has been known for quite some time for his creative reimagining of traditional French cuisine approached with a contemporary attitude, so I was eager to see what he’d bring to the table. I ordered pasta with butter, and found it to be superb with salt and a bottle of ’89 Chateau l’Endpin drunk through a crazy straw. 4 Stars.

March 11: Raul’s. Best known for their use of a particularly fine truffle oil to flavor their top dishes. I decided to try this famous oil for myself and ordered a champagne flute filled with it. Absolutely delicious to the last drop. 5 Stars.
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      IS IT TOO LATE?!

      INT. RETAIL STORE - DAY

      The bell rings as HANH bursts into the shop, out of breath.
      In his hands he holds a comedy sketch, crumpled from the run
      over. He has long hair and is wearing tight jeans and a
      vintage t-shirt.

                          HANH
                Am I too late?
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      ASSISTING THE BLIND

      INT. APARTMENT - DAY

      The doorbell rings. A delay as NELSIN, clearly blind, makes
      his way over to the door to open it. It is MARL, dressed in
      the sort of sweater a good samaritan would wear.

                          NELSIN
                Hello?

                          MARL
                Hey Nelsin, it's me - Marl. I'm
                here from the Help-the-Blind
                agency.
 (Continue reading...)

      DO YOU HAVE A REWARDS CARD?

      INT. CHECKOUT COUNTER AT THE PHARMACY - DAY

      The CASHIER scans KILE's purchases, leaving a box of condoms
      conspicuously out on the counter for last. She scans them and
      puts them in the bag.

                          CASHIER
                That brings your total to $28.42.
                Do you have a rewards card?

                          KILE
                No, I'm sorry.

      KILE hangs his head in shame as he hands over his credit
      card.
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      PEDIACHANIC

      INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY

      MOTHER walks JIMMY into the doctor's office, holding his
      hand.

                          DR CRITH
                    (Reading from his chart.)
                Okay, let's see what we've got
                here. A 1998 Jimmy, twelve-hundred
                miles on him. What seems to be the
                problem?
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      WELL, THE JOKE'S ON YOU!

      EXT. SOFTBALL FIELD - DAY

      A co-ed softball game. ANDY wearing his hat a little too high
      on his head, and looking like he's got an extra shirt or two
      on, steps up to the plate, swings, and makes an impressive
      home run. The team cheers, and he rounds the bases. They all
      rush out to congratulate him after he hits home.

                          ARK
                You did it! We win!
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      A FLAMETHROWER SKETCH

      INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

      MOTHER stands amidst chaos: toys on the ground, food on the
      walls, music playing. Foam darts are shooting back and forth
      across camera, a child runs across and catches a Nerf
      football and runs with it off-screen. A crash is heard.

                          MOTHER
                Boy, life sure can get frantic some
                times.

      An 11-year-old boy runs into the shot holding a real
      flamethrower (holy cow!). He laughs and shoots a few
      fireballs randomly, and then runs off-camera. He leaves
      behind smouldering scorch marks on the couch, carpet, and
      walls.

                          MOTHER (CONT'D)
                See? This is why we can't have ice things.

                                                     BLACKOUT.

      DRIVE TOO FAST!

      INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

      Three older women sit around drinking tea out of nice teacups
      on saucers. The chairs have lace on the armrests.

                          MYRNIA
                What can I say? I just love prunes.

      There is a general murmur of agreement.

                          SYLVIA
                Oy.

      The group echoes her 'oy'.
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      ANOTHER PHONE SEX SKETCH

      INT. CALL CENTER - NIGHT

      ELVERA, a whorey-looking woman, sits at a desk with a headset
      on. Her phone rings, she sighs and answers it.

                          ELVERA
                    (Sexily.)
                Hi there. Thanks for calling. How
                you doin'?
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      SPY CHEF!

      A rad graphics title card flashes across the screen.

                          ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
                This week, on Spy Chef!

      ROB FLEMMING, a hip twenty-something wearing a snazzy black
      chef's jacket and toque, talks to the camera with a kitchen
      competition set behind him.

                          ROB
                The world's best espionage-eating
                experts show off to prove who's the
                best at discreet delicacies!  (Continue reading...)