March 3: C’est Scents. The head chef, Louis von Gaf, has been known for quite some time for his creative reimagining of traditional French cuisine approached with a contemporary attitude, so I was eager to see what he’d bring to the table. I ordered pasta with butter, and found it to be superb with salt and a bottle of ’89 Chateau l’Endpin drunk through a crazy straw. 4 Stars.

March 11: Raul’s. Best known for their use of a particularly fine truffle oil to flavor their top dishes. I decided to try this famous oil for myself and ordered a champagne flute filled with it. Absolutely delicious to the last drop. 5 Stars.

March 20: Champlins Bar & Girl. The bar was well-stocked with a wide variety of beer on tap. Of special note were the houses’ two seasonal ales, the robust German import Budveisser, their whiskey sampler platter, their signature martini, and two full bottles of a chardonnay whose name escapes me. Complementary peanuts were good, and the titular girl wasn’t half bad either.

March 21: Cheryl’s Brunchateria. Dry toast paired excellently with 3 cups of coffee, a glass of water, and a tomato juice – all delicious, but the music was too loud and the shades far too open. 2 Stars.

April 6: Restaruente Oppitalianaccent. Lavishly decorated waiting area with comfortable yet classically refined seating, a tasteful rug, and breath mints that softly chilled the palette. (Didn’t realize I needed a reservation.) 2 Stars.

April 25: Bayside Bistro. Highly regarded seafood restaurant. Ordered the shrimp scampi, but filled up on breadsticks and had to take it home. Was no good the next morning. Breadsticks get 3 Stars.

May 5: Johnston’s Fake Food Emporium. Proprietors insist that their food is completely inedible – that it’s only for show – but I maintain that they’re just being modest. Of particular note is their specialty dish, the orgleaghghghghhhh…