ASSISTING THE BLIND

      INT. APARTMENT - DAY

      The doorbell rings. A delay as NELSIN, clearly blind, makes
      his way over to the door to open it. It is MARL, dressed in
      the sort of sweater a good samaritan would wear.

                          NELSIN
                Hello?

                          MARL
                Hey Nelsin, it's me - Marl. I'm
                here from the Help-the-Blind
                agency.

                          NELSIN
                Oh, great! I was expecting you.
                Come in, come in!

                          MARL
                So what can I give you a hand with
                today?

                          NELSIN
                Well, you know I try pretty hard to
                be self-sufficient, and I think I'm
                pretty good at it too. But there
                are just some things that a blind
                guy can't get done-

      NELSIN stands up and balls his fists.

                          NELSIN (CONT'D)
                -and I live with no limitations!

                          MARL
                Aaand that's what I'm here for! So
                how can I help?

      NELSIN sits back down.

                          NELSIN
                This Rubik's cube is driving me
                crazy! Can you help me solve it?

                                                       CUT TO:

      THREE HOURS LATER.

      MARL and NELSIN are sitting on the couch. NELSIN is twisting
      the Rubik's cube, holding it out to show MARL. MARL looks
      incredibly bored.

                          MARL
                ... red red green, blue green red,
                white yellow red.

                          NELSIN
                And on this side?

                          MARL
                ... green green yellow, red white
                yellow ....

                                                       CUT TO:

      NELSIN holds up the Rubik's cube triumphantly.

                          NELSIN
                Awesome! Hmm. What should we do
                next ... I know! Could you help me
                play a video game?

                          MARL
                A video game...

                          NELSIN
                No limitations!

                                                       CUT TO:

      MARL and NELSIN sitting on the couch. NELSIN is holding a
      Nintendo controller, they're playing Mario Brothers.

                          MARL
                    (Very bored.)
                Okay, there's a goomba coming up.
                Jump... now! No, you missed it.
                That's okay. Keep going right...
                there are some coins. Jump for the
                coins. You got two, good. There's a
                block, jump. It's a mushroom. No,
                you missed it...

                                                       CUT TO:

      MARL and NELSIN sit on the couch, MARL is holding a book of
      art, turned to a page of Picasso.

                          MARL (CONT'D)
                Yeah, uh. It's a woman, but her
                face is all goofy. Like her eyes
                are crooked and kind of far apart.
                Her boobs are weird too.

      NELSIN strokes his chin.

                          NELSIN
                Gosh. He must have had a very
                frustrating relationship with the
                women in his life.

                                                       CUT TO:

      MARL and NELSIN are in a life-painting class, standing in a
      room full of other artists in front of a nude model.

                          MARL
                Yeah, no, you've made the nipples
                too small. Way too small.

      The model and the rest of the room stare at MARL.

                          MARL (CONT'D)
                    (Self-consciously.)
                ... I'm telling you, these things
                are huge.

                          NELSIN
                Hey! After this, can you help me
                set up my new lava lamp?

                                                       CUT TO:

      MARL and NELSIN sit on the couch. A movie has just finished
      and the credits are scrolling.

                          MARL
                    (Exhausted.)
                ... Key Grip: Bobby Johnjonson.
                Assistant Grip: Louie VonStein ...

                          NELSIN
                Oh! Now you can narrate some late
                night infomercials to me!

                          MARL
                Listen Marl, it's really late. I'm
                afraid I've got to go home. Have a
                goodnight.

                                                       CUT TO:

      INT. MARL BEDROOM - NIGHT

      The phone rings. MARL takes off his eye-shades and answers
      the phone?

                          MARL
                Hello?

                          NELSIN
                My roommate is asleep in his room!
                Can you come over and help me draw
                a dick on his face?

                                                     BLACKOUT.

      Holy crap! I did it - 30 sketches! Happy sketch
      writing month, everyone!