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by Jon Michael
on October 21, 2009 at 11:23 pm
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March 3: C’est Scents. The head chef, Louis von Gaf, has been known for quite some time for his creative reimagining of traditional French cuisine approached with a contemporary attitude, so I was eager to see what he’d bring to the table. I ordered pasta with butter, and found it to be superb with salt and a bottle of ’89 Chateau l’Endpin drunk through a crazy straw. 4 Stars.
March 11: Raul’s. Best known for their use of a particularly fine truffle oil to flavor their top dishes. I decided to try this famous oil for myself and ordered a champagne flute filled with it. Absolutely delicious to the last drop. 5 Stars.
(Continue reading…)
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Voted: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
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by Jon Michael
on October 1, 2009 at 2:50 pm
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IS IT TOO LATE?!
INT. RETAIL STORE - DAY
The bell rings as HANH bursts into the shop, out of breath.
In his hands he holds a comedy sketch, crumpled from the run
over. He has long hair and is wearing tight jeans and a
vintage t-shirt.
HANH
Am I too late?
(Continue reading...)
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Voted: 3.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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by Jon Michael
on September 30, 2009 at 10:23 am
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ASSISTING THE BLIND
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
The doorbell rings. A delay as NELSIN, clearly blind, makes
his way over to the door to open it. It is MARL, dressed in
the sort of sweater a good samaritan would wear.
NELSIN
Hello?
MARL
Hey Nelsin, it's me - Marl. I'm
here from the Help-the-Blind
agency.
(Continue reading...)
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Voted: 4.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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by Jon Michael
on September 29, 2009 at 5:13 pm
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DO YOU HAVE A REWARDS CARD?
INT. CHECKOUT COUNTER AT THE PHARMACY - DAY
The CASHIER scans KILE's purchases, leaving a box of condoms
conspicuously out on the counter for last. She scans them and
puts them in the bag.
CASHIER
That brings your total to $28.42.
Do you have a rewards card?
KILE
No, I'm sorry.
KILE hangs his head in shame as he hands over his credit
card.
(Continue reading...)
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Voted: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
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by Jon Michael
on September 29, 2009 at 5:12 pm
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PEDIACHANIC
INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY
MOTHER walks JIMMY into the doctor's office, holding his
hand.
DR CRITH
(Reading from his chart.)
Okay, let's see what we've got
here. A 1998 Jimmy, twelve-hundred
miles on him. What seems to be the
problem?
(Continue reading...)
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Voted: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
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by Jon Michael
on September 29, 2009 at 5:08 pm
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WELL, THE JOKE'S ON YOU!
EXT. SOFTBALL FIELD - DAY
A co-ed softball game. ANDY wearing his hat a little too high
on his head, and looking like he's got an extra shirt or two
on, steps up to the plate, swings, and makes an impressive
home run. The team cheers, and he rounds the bases. They all
rush out to congratulate him after he hits home.
ARK
You did it! We win!
(Continue reading...)
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Voted: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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by Jon Michael
on September 29, 2009 at 5:08 pm
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A FLAMETHROWER SKETCH
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
MOTHER stands amidst chaos: toys on the ground, food on the
walls, music playing. Foam darts are shooting back and forth
across camera, a child runs across and catches a Nerf
football and runs with it off-screen. A crash is heard.
MOTHER
Boy, life sure can get frantic some
times.
An 11-year-old boy runs into the shot holding a real
flamethrower (holy cow!). He laughs and shoots a few
fireballs randomly, and then runs off-camera. He leaves
behind smouldering scorch marks on the couch, carpet, and
walls.
MOTHER (CONT'D)
See? This is why we can't have ice things.
BLACKOUT.
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Voted: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
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by Jon Michael
on September 29, 2009 at 5:08 pm
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DRIVE TOO FAST!
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
Three older women sit around drinking tea out of nice teacups
on saucers. The chairs have lace on the armrests.
MYRNIA
What can I say? I just love prunes.
There is a general murmur of agreement.
SYLVIA
Oy.
The group echoes her 'oy'.
(Continue reading...)
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Voted: 4.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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by Jon Michael
on September 29, 2009 at 5:08 pm
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ANOTHER PHONE SEX SKETCH
INT. CALL CENTER - NIGHT
ELVERA, a whorey-looking woman, sits at a desk with a headset
on. Her phone rings, she sighs and answers it.
ELVERA
(Sexily.)
Hi there. Thanks for calling. How
you doin'?
(Continue reading...)
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Voted: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
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by Jon Michael
on September 29, 2009 at 4:53 pm
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SPY CHEF!
A rad graphics title card flashes across the screen.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
This week, on Spy Chef!
ROB FLEMMING, a hip twenty-something wearing a snazzy black
chef's jacket and toque, talks to the camera with a kitchen
competition set behind him.
ROB
The world's best espionage-eating
experts show off to prove who's the
best at discreet delicacies! (Continue reading...)
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Voted: 3.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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by Jon Michael
on September 29, 2009 at 4:40 pm
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PITCHING PORNOS
INT. OFFICE - DAY
BOSH
(Calling out.)
Warrun, could you come in here for
a minute?
WARRUN, a frazzled man with thick glasses wearing a mis
buttoned sweater vest, rushes into the room carrying a stack
of papers.
BOSH (CONT'D)
Warrun, take a seat.
WARRUN sits.
(Continue reading...)
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Voted: 4.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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by Jon Michael
on September 29, 2009 at 3:38 pm
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THE PRITCH IS RICH
INT. THE SET OF THE PRICE IS RIGHT - DAY
ANNOUNCER
Welcome to The Price is Right - and
here's your host, Drew Carey!
DREW CAREY
We've got a real special treat for
you today - a special edition of
The Price Is Right, today's show is
especially for a select group that
have been getting a lot of
attention lately: The super
wealthy! Let's get right to it!
Rich - who's going to be playing
with us today?
(Continue reading...)
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Voted: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
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by Jon Michael
on September 29, 2009 at 3:07 pm
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STRIPPER!
INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT
A knock at the door. STIEVEN answers it, while MIKEH and GLAN
peek out from around the corner, giggling. STIEVEN opens the
door to reveal a sexy blonde, BAUBLES wearing a trenchcoat
and carrying a boom-box.
BAUBLES
Hi there. (Continue reading...)
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Voted: 3.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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by Jon Michael
on September 29, 2009 at 2:41 pm
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CASH 4 GOAL
INT. PROFESSIONAL-LOOKING OFFICE - DAY
MIKELSN, a beat-up looking hockey player stands behind an oak
desk with a blazer on over his jersey. As he talks to the
camera, he walks across the office. Cheesy infomercial music
plays in the background.
MIKELSN
Hello. I'm Mikelsn, captain of
hockey team. It recently come to
our attention that there an awful
lot of corruption and bribery and
game-throwing going on in
profressional sports. Like hockey.
But bribery so hard! So we decide
to make easy. That's why we invent
CASH 4 GOAL!
(Continue reading...)
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Voted: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
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by Jon Michael
on September 29, 2009 at 1:55 pm
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THE PIN HATER SKETCH
INT. BOWLING ALLEY - NIGHT
CRAL walks uncertainly towards a group of BOWLERS.
CRAL
Hey guys, is this the tryouts for
the new bowling league?
(Continue reading...)
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Voted: 3.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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