Crash Cab

by Jon Michael on September 23, 2009 at 12:09 pm


      CRASH CAB

      INT. TAXI CAB - NIGHT

      BYRIN opens the door to a cab and gets inside. The driver
      sitting with his head leaned up against the window, jumps
      when BYRIN gets in the cab.

                          BEN
                Uhh, where to, buddy?

                          GRIG
                33rd and Lex, please.

                          BEN
                You got it.

      BEN begins to drive off. As he does, the roof of the cab
      lights up, flashing and music plays. The driver is just as
      surprised as the passenger.

                          BEN (CONT'D)
                Oh yeah!
                    (Smacks forehead.)
                You're in the Cash Cab. It's a TV
                game show played right here in my
                taxi.
                    (Hic.)
                I'm your host, Ben Bailey, and I'll
                ask you general knowledge questions
                until we reach your destination.
                Whaddya say, You In?

                          GRIG
                Cool! Yeah, definitely!

                          BEN
                Alright! For your first question,
                and $50, uh...

      BEN pauses and looks around the cab.

                          BEN (CONT'D)
                What have I been drinking?

                          GRIG
                Drinking? ... Only water, I hope.

                          BEN
                Sorry - wrong answer!

      A red 'x' flashes across the screen.

                          BEN (CONT'D)
                And your first strike. Two more of
                those and you'll have to get out
                and walk!

      BEN turns around to face GRIG.

                          BEN (CONT'D)
                The correct answer, of course, is
                Ben's Bailey's.
                    (Chuckles.)

      The cab swerves off the road and a scream is heard as a
      pedestrian thuds across the hood and windshield of the car.

                          GRIG
                Oh, Jesus Christ! Oh, oh my god!

                          BEN
                Uh oh.

                          GRIG
                Oh my god, dude, you just hit that
                woman! Pull over, we have to help
                her!

                          BEN
                Oh jeez. Okay, well ... listen.

                          GRIG
                What!?

                          BEN
                If I get another DUI, I'll lose my
                license. I'll lose my job. Please,
                you gotta help me. I'll give you
                $2000 if you can keep this to
                yourself...
                And answer the following question:
                In what century was the Brooklyn
                Bridge built?

                          GRIG
                    (Still frantic and angry.)
                I don't know. The 1800's?

      The lights flash and music plays.

                          BEN
                Correct! You win $2000 and we've
                reached your destination!

      GRIG starts laughing, clapping his hands, and bouncing around
      the car!

                          GRIG
                $2000! Oh my god, I can't believe I
                won!

                                                       CUT TO:

      GRIG getting out of the cab and jumping up and down on the
      streets with a fistful of cash.

                                                FADE TO BLACK.
Voted: 4.0/5 (1 vote cast)
Filed under: Parody and Scripts

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