DO YOU HAVE A REWARDS CARD?

      INT. CHECKOUT COUNTER AT THE PHARMACY - DAY

      The CASHIER scans KILE's purchases, leaving a box of condoms
      conspicuously out on the counter for last. She scans them and
      puts them in the bag.

                          CASHIER
                That brings your total to $28.42.
                Do you have a rewards card?

                          KILE
                No, I'm sorry.

      KILE hangs his head in shame as he hands over his credit
      card.

                          KILE (CONT'D)
                I'm sorry to let you down. I wish I
                did have a rewards card. Oh how I
                wish. I know! I'll get one! I'll
                sign up now!

      The CASHIER stares, misty eyed, off into the distance.

                          CASHIER
                It's ... it's too late. I've
                already swiped your credit card.

                          KILE
                Noooooo!

      KILE breaks down and begins sobbing. The CASHIER looks at the
      camera.

                          CASHIER
                Don't let this happen to you. You
                shop there all the time -- why not
                show your appreciation with a
                rewards card? It means so much to
                us cashiers. Every time you say you
                don't have one, it's like a little
                bit of our heart gets torn out, put
                on sale for $1.99, and then
                purchased by YOU, without a rewards
                card.
                So next time someone asks you if
                you'd like to sign up, don't be a
                dick. Just say yes.

                                            SHAMEFUL BLACKOUT.