Tepeko, MO – Shirley Kemla’s assumption that her fiancée had misspelled their evening’s activity was proved wrong yesterday, when it turned out he had made neither a spelling nor a typing error when emailing her a description of their plans for the night.

The crust in question.
(Click to enlarge)

“Let’s visit my parents tonight,” wrote Brian Howard, Shirley’s fiancée, “my parents realized that you had never seen our family crust, and thought you might get a kick out of it.” Mistakenly assuming that Brian had meant ‘crest’, Shirley agreed. She was very surprised, then, when she discovered that he was describing an 80-year old accumulation of spilled food, drink, and bodily effluence on an heirloom dining room table.

“I can admit it’s kind of gross,” said Howard, “but it means a lot to my parents and grandparents. My parents are really excited to pass it along to us on our wedding day.” He then described its significance. “It’s generations of Howard family history, right there on the table. My grandfather threw up on this table when he was an infant, and you can even see the stains from when my father was conceived. Heck, my mother used to roll out her famous pie crusts on this table when I was a kid. If you lick it, you can still taste the boysenberry filling.” He added, “in many ways it’s more personal than a silly old family crest.”

Kemla said she hasn’t been this thrown by a typo since the authorities informed her that her mother “had been lost in the dessert.”