It's easier to carry around a baby than to be plugged into a violinst.

In Talmudic Judaism, you can say "kchunem alai" -- "I forbid myself". Because I have some sort of sock fetish. So, "I forbid myself from touching this pair of socks."

"I'm talking about sex with a *consenting* animal. Don't force me to bring videos into class!"

"I didn't tell you to seduce your boss's wife, but I'm happy you've been successful!"

"I am not responsible for the stupidity and unprofessionalism of others."

"I'm like the dentist, you can't lie to me, I know if you floss or not..."

"I have kidney stones...so I'm in pain..."

"Lying is the only way to get around in this world..."

So I was informed that the answers for exams 1 and 2 mysteriously disappeared from Latte. They are now back up online, however I do not know where they went to begin with..probably to the place where all my extra socks go.........

"That's a pretty low bar to suck on."

I found it nauseating. It's just so...Dutch.

If you touch my car, I will break your face.

Some days I have to ask myself, "Why did I want to be an actor, again?"

When I'm on a plane and I don't want to talk to the person sitting next to me, I just tell them I'm a sociologist

You can target Hitler at home