Take care of your genitals. I kind of designed them at the last second, so they don’t really last as long as the rest of thine body.
It is not possible for me to microwave a burrito so hot that even I can not eat it. Trust me, I’ve tried.
Thou shalt go ahead and cross Leviticus right out, it was just a rough draft I made one night when I was high.
The Virgin Mary is not my lover. She’s just a girl who says that I am the one. But the kid is not my son.
Thou shalt scream my name whilst having sex, and I’ll take a looksee. Bonus points if you’re committing adultery, that shit is hot.
Remember the Sabbath Day and keep it real. Don’t let anyone fuck with you on the Sabbath Day.
Just so you know, there is no hidden code in the bible. for real, there isn’t one in here.
Look. I know that you have other gods. I know that you know that I know that I know that you have other gods. I found that dead goat on the altar on your back porch. I found sacrificed goat’s blood on your sheets. I just want you to be honest with me. If you admit it, we can make up and go to sabbath together. Okay?
Thou shalt keep in mind: witches don’t actually exist.
Thou shalt not boil a kid in its mother’s milk; that said, the odds of a familial relation between the cheese and meat patties in your Double Cheeseburger are slim to none, so go ahead and eat that shit.
